Dear Friend,

                   As you grow in your walk with the Lord, know that you are not alone.  I used to go about my walk with Jesus as if it was just me and him. I thought I didn’t need anyone else. But the truth is that he has made man for community. Don’t be afraid to let people in and be vulnerable. Don’t shut out the love and lessons that God wants to teach you through relationships. Let God use people in your life. 

                  There are going to be “dark” periods in your life. Times when nothing seems right and times when you don’t feel like God is there. These times don’t always mean that you’re doing something wrong. It just means that you are human. Sometimes God distances himself so that we chase harder after him. Like a parent hiding behind the next aisle from their child, they are still there. They are simply trying to see if the child is paying attention; teaching them how important is it to stay close. Many people act like it’s not ok to be sad or even depressed as a Christian; as if you cannot be human and love Jesus at the same time. But this is simply not true. We are still alive. We are still on this earth. We feel. We hurt. Don’t hide behind a mask because you are afraid of what the church may say. Be real. Be honest. Let healing come. It’s not easy, but it’s real.

                  Often in prayer for me it has been hard to stay focused. I find my mind wandering. One thing that has helped me is to journal. Write down what you’re saying to God. Or go outside and talk to God out loud. Go somewhere where you can be alone and just converse with God. When you don’t know what to say, praise him for who he is. We can never run out of awesome things to say about God. Don’t be afraid to tell God when you are struggling to focus on him. He already knows. He is not mad at you. He loves you. He loves to hear you ask him for help. Be real with God, he’s big enough to handle it.

                  Don’t forget that this is a struggle. The Christian life is not easy. There are going to be people who don’t understand you and an Enemy who doesn’t want you to bring glory to God with your life. But never give up hope. Keep pressing onward. Draw close to your Father. Stay in community.

"Deny yourselves...and follow me."

     Be in the world and not of the world. This is told spoken about all around different Christian circles. It is something that every Christian has been called to. The world all around up tries to influence us to do certain things like “dress to impress,” which tells girls and boys from a young age that they have to dress in a provocative way in order to attract the attention, and ultimately love, of another. This goes against what the Bible teaches about looking at the heart of a person, as God does, rather than their appearances, which will fade with time. Culture teaches people that being sexy is the greatest compliment a person can receive, when the Bible teaches that the only person who should think one is sexy is his or her spouse. Beauty and love have been turned into self-centered, twisted things, where beauty is what causes lust and love is what makes you happy or feel good. This is not the love that Christ showed on the cross. Being utterly tortured and humiliated did not make Him feel good. I struggle with each of these examples to certain degrees. It can be hard not to dress pretty in order not to get people to notice me (even while staying modest).  It can be hard in friendships to realize that loving my friends is not about what I get out of the relationship, but about how I can love them and walk with them towards the Lord. But this is what God has called me to; humility and other-centeredness. Calvin writes how important self-denial is in the life of a believer. He writes, “the denial of ourselves will leave no room for pride.” Without self-denial, we refuse to become humble by submitting ourselves unto God's will rather than our own. And this is exactly with Christ did. He submitted himself to the Father in humility, denying the desires of his flesh to flee death and suffering. 

To See a Spiders Web.

      I saw so much today, truly. This post will make me sound like a complete tree-hugging hippie, but oh well. I walked through a patch of trees. And everywhere I looked I saw the provision of God. I saw that way that he gives water to the trees, and acorns to the squirrels. I saw that way he gave a home for a spider’s web in a bare tree. There are so many things going on in nature and God is acquainted with each aspect. I walked, telling God about how powerful he is and how caring his heart is towards life. He brings about all change for new life. His plans are wonderful. This is a practice that I love and have done many times before. It brings me into such intimacy with the Creator. I should remember it do it more often, not getting caught up in the creations of man and missing the breathtaking works of God himself. 

Jesus, Friend of Sinners

      Evangelism, as it is often thought of, is very hard to do. The way I have often seen it exercised is by going door to door and sharing the good news. And while this is not a bad thing, it is hard for me to do because it doesn’t involve an ongoing relationship. In addition, I can be shy when I am first introduced to a new situation. Door to door evangelism, or things of that sort, do not mix well with my personally. But if we’re talking about evangelism as in sharing Christ with others in a more casual, ongoing process, That is something that I do more often and I am more comfortable with. Nee’s writing encouraged me in this. He said that Christ comes to people as a friend before he becomes their savior. This is great because it exemplified how a person has to first be introduced to Christ as a person before they will really accept him into their life. Often we approach people, through evangelism, by presenting Jesus as a savior, without first letting them person meet Jesus as a person. Go and tell evangelism is important, as Francis of Assisi wrote about. It is important to tell the good news to the multitudes of dying people. But relationship evangelism also has it’s place, where people can learn to know Jesus as you are learning to know them. I personally need to be willing to reach out of my normal comfort zone of being quiet when I first meet people, in order to share Christ with them. Then I need to not just talk about Jesus as a savior, but also as a person who wants to be a friend of sinners. 

Humility.

      Jeremy Taylor wrote a list of nineteen different things that one can do to become more humble. The easiest one for me to do is number thirteen, which talks about praising others. I really enjoy making other people light up by complimenting them. I do not see others' success as a threat to me when I am the one giving the praise. The hardest one for me, however, is number eleven, which talks about feeling angry when people undervalue you. This is extremely hard for me. I take criticism so personally, and then hold resentment against others. Words of affirmation are definitely my love language. Therefore, when people fail to let me know that I am doing well, I feel unloved and unappreciated. This is so hard to overcome. I am always learning that my value comes from God, and he loves me even when I fail. 

For I am not ashamed...

     Growing up, sometimes my family had money, and sometimes we didn’t. We lived in an adobe brick house that we built ourselves. It was very unconventional. When I was very young, I didn’t know that I “should” feel embarrassed about not having money or a nice, normal, house. But when I became a teenager, I sometimes did feel embarrassed.  I felt abnormal, like everyone pitied me. Now, I am very encouraged by my background. I am so glad that God took my family through highs and lows. He has taught me to be content in everything, and I can relate to so many people.

     Now that I have grown up and am pursuing my own career, I sometimes feel ashamed of my vocation. I don’t mean that I always feel ashamed that I want to do missions. Most of the time I am extremely excited that God would choose me for such a task. But sometimes, the pressure placed upon me by family members to do something more difficult (like medical school) in school gets into my head. Most people do not think as missions as a job. I feel like many think that I am pursuing a hobby, and that I will be unprepared when I enter into the “real world” after graduation. But I also take encouragement in my vocation, praising God that he is helping me to escape the capitalist mindset of living to make as much money as I can.  Instead, I am trying to live for something that will last into eternity.

            

The Life-Changing Event

The popular belief of conversion today is that conversion happens all at one time and requires no upkeep. This is the idea that Christ saves someone at the point of salvation, and nothing following this event can make someone “loose their salvation.” E. Stanley Jones explains conversion a bit differently. He writes that conversion is, indeed, an act of God, but it also requires action from the person following the event. This means that once a person is saved, they must try to live in the ways the God has commanded. It is not a one-time event that makes null the rest of one’s lifestyle, but rather an event that will forever alter one’s lifestyle. I think this is a more biblical understanding of conversion. Why would so much of the gospels include the cost of following after Christ? And why do the authors of the NT letters stress the need to live Godly lives? It is not that these actions initially save someone, but rather that theses actions are an outgrowth of true salvation. If someone claims to be a Christian but does not live a Jesus-like lifestyle, that person should consider if he or she is indeed a Christian in action and not just in word.