Prayer=awkward and powerful?

      Pray has never been easy for me. So the prospect of going to church for an hour to pray was a bit intimidating. I will be honest in saying that as I was praying, I did not always feel as if I was being productive. If I am not talking the entire time during prayer my mind starts to wander, therefore listening is complicated. And this happened. I would speak to God then remain silent to listen and my mind would go into complete thought chaos. I did this on and off for about half an hour. I then took out a piece of paper and began writing out my confusion. And before I knew it, what started out as a fleshing out of a prayer problem turned into prayer. I have written out my prayers before, but today I think I came to an understanding that it is ok to do so. My written out prayers are not “less” prayer-like than prayers merely spoken inside ones head. Despite my struggles during the actual prayer time, I do feel like I was more prepared for worship through the music and the lesson. I was able to get my heart in the correct perspective before the service even began, instead of struggling to get to that place during the service. This was really cool. I do not often think about preparing myself to encounter God before I get to church. But if I did, how much more would I get out of the lesson and how much more would I be able to engage in worship?