I have long struggled with the idea of giving. And this struggle does not just arise out of my selfishness. I honestly just have a hard time understanding tithing. The New Testament does not give clear examples of it as ten percent, rather it says the the Body was giving away everything to serve the Lord and to take care of each other. It is also hard to read passages that say not to give out of compulsion, but then hear preachers condemn those who do not give, as if their "gift" was rather a bill that was due. Needless to say, I am still finding how the Lord wants me to give. O'Conner wrote about how the needy have a face. And I think this is so beautiful, because it is so much easier to give when the need is more clearly seen. Who would not share their dinner with someone if they knew that that person would go without a meal? And who would not sell a few items of clothing to buy a child a coat for the winter? But while the need remains concealed behind a glistening offering plate, many will not give with sacrificial joy for others in need (I only use physical needs for example. I know that offerings go much farther that physical needs).
I do not have an income whatsoever. The money that is in my bank account is money that I have saved from working at a camp this summer. I have mainly used it to buy food and gas a couple of times. When you do not have a job, spending irresponsibly becomes less possible. I have let God used my money, though. Sometimes that meant buying someone else's dinner, and sometimes that meant giving when I have no money coming in to replace it. I do not think that I have let my money gain control over me. But I know that money can so easily enslave and I want the Lord to constantly remind me that His kingdom is the one that will not end. His kingdom is my treasure.
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